July 25, 2011

Don't Tell Me How To Raise My Son!

I know I am a new mother and all, but I hate that people are telling me what is right or wrong about what my husband and I are doing with our son. Let me explain. Yesterday, my husband and I went downtown to get outside some. We walked a little bit, but I think Liam was just too hot because all he wanted to do was eat. So we decided to sit in the shade for a few, before heading back to the car. Well, we took a few pictures then, including this one:


[[picture is now deleted thanks to stupid people]]

I posted it on facebook, along with some other photos. One of my 'friends' on there posted a comment saying how I shouldn't post this picture and how it was inappropriate that my husband was holding our four week old by his ankles. Ok, first off - from day one, our son has been super strong and holding his head up like a champ. Secondly, it's not like we are flinging him around and being abusive. Lastly, he literally held Liam up for two seconds, just to get the picture. Whether or not you think this is right or wrong, don't tell me! I got mad and took it off and then she messaged me saying "glad to see that you took the picture of your husband holding your four week old by the ankles down. Even at four months I wouldn't do that. Picture pose or not still not appropriate for a four week old. Keep it in the family." WHAT THE HELL! Keep it in the family? I can post what I want!

I know that people have their own opinions but is that really THAT bad? I know he is only a month old, but come on! He wasn't even crying during it. It's not like we dropped him or anything. Am I overreacting or is she right? Give me the truth- what do you think? 

Now on to 'happier' photos according to what she thinks.

22 comments:

  1. Obviously small babies are delicate, but if your spending all day every day with him you should have a better idea about whats ok or not for him then an acquaintance.

    Nowadays all parents need to be careful, I think its totally appropriate to to take a pic of my nephew playing in the bath but you cant do that anymore (never bothered me, I still proudly show MY childhood bath photos!).

    The fact that she said 'keep it in the family' is really odd though, like she is saying it's ok to do something 'bad' so long as no one knows about it?!

    You shouldn't worry to much...there will ALWAYS be someone telling you your wrong in motherhood, work, whatever.. I always wonder what their basis for comparison is!

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  2. Are you crazy ? Its about common sense to not hold a baby like that even an adult ! It has nothing to do with how to raise a kid its just stupid to hold a baby like that, you can cause dammage to his brain.

    You will probably erase this message i know that the truth hurt.

    Im a physician and if yours see that picture he or she will tell you the same thing...

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  3. No I wont erase a bad message because i'm not like that. Sure it's common sense but i'm pretty sure once for literally 2 seconds wont kill him. I'm sure people will call us bad parents but whatever. I tell him not to hold him like that anyway so it's not like we're stupid. Guess i'm crazy, but oh well. Who cares if you're a physician or not though because everyone is different and even all doctors or physicians are different and will tell you different things.

    I'll probably get a lot of beef for this post, but oh well. Liam is growing well, responding well so obviously nothing is wrong. Plus when things come first, you need to learn and grow.

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  4. babies are delicate but they also respond to a bit of rough and tumble, especially boys.

    I think this has been a tiny bit of over reaction on this person's part and you are totally right about doctors all telling you different things as medicine is not an exact science.

    Try not to get too upset about this :)

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  5. Thank you! I'm glad i'm not the only one who thinks she was a bit out of place. I know that people mean the best and that it can be a problem, but it's not like that's how we carry him. You're right, they do require a tad bit of toughness and my husband agrees to that. He can't wait to play with him and rough him up HA. I would never want to hurt my son and sometimes I think people don't realize that.

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  6. I love how easy it is for people to post anonymously and get all ballsy! -_-

    Anywhoodle you know what's right for your child & you obviously wouldn't do anything to hurt him! Everyone is SOOOOO quick to jump on their soapbox it DRIVES me crazy! They need a nice cup of you know what! =D

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  7. So true! My husband gets a kick out of people who do that "anonymously" haha. Thank you though. We definitely would never want to hurt him. There are crazy people out there who would, but we aren't one of them...and people judge far too quickly. =]

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  8. right or wrong, she probably should have told you in a more kind way. I'm nervous about having kids because I know people can be really critical about it :) just keep doing the best you know how!

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  9. Re fucking-tard!

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  10. Fucking Stupid fat bitch !!!
    Don't try to feel better about how stupid you are for doing this to your child. Poor kid.

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  11. Wow...people are nasty. Whether anyone thinks it is right or wrong that you took a picture of Adam holding Liam like that is none of their business unless there is a burden of proof of abuse (in which case I would want anyone to report that and I know you and Adam would never harm your son). The bad thing about being a mother and the even worse thing about being a young mother is people always think they know better than you. Ignore people, forget what anyone thinks, and live your life for you. That is all you can do. At the end of the day you have to live the way you feel is best for you.

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  12. Thanks Kim.

    As for whoever wrote as "Anonymous" you two are real immature. I bet you wouldn't have the balls to say that with a NAME.

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  13. Just like liquid courage....people will only say how they feel behind the masks of alcohol or anonymous....

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  14. I am not going to lie my jaw dropped when I first saw the picture. But after reading it was only for the picture and so on it's your call. No one knows yours son like you do so if you feel it was ok then your friend should have kept her thoughts to herself.

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  15. Kim - exactly! but oh well lol

    Ashley - I understand what you mean. I yell at him for it all the time lol...but I agreed to take the picture real quick. Like I said, he doesn't do it all the time, just for that. You didn't like it, yet you were mean like some people...and thank you for that.

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  16. I would personally never do that to a baby only because I'm a HUGE worrier. I would be scared I'd drop him or something, lol. But like you said, its not like you do it all the time and it was just for a few seconds. A few seconds is not going to cause brain damage. And even though we've never officially met, I know you would never harm that child. Yes, it could've been dangerous, but I'm sure with those army muscles that Adam has there was a VERY minimal risk of dropping him. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and everyone is going to have a different opinion on parenting, but people don't have to be so nasty about it. You are a great mom; it's obvious from the pictures you post and the way you talk about your son. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Ily.

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  17. I'm a huge worry wart too...thus why I tell him not to do that all the time haha..and ONLY agreed for the picture real fast. Bahaha army muscles...true. He had a good grip on him and you couldn't see it, but the padded stroller was like an inch below where the picture ended. Thanks, ILY! =]

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  18. Wow someone is definitely mature for saying that to you..
    If you think you're right then why are you too chicken to post as yourself instead of anonymous?
    And you're a physician? Anyone with a degree would have much better grammar than you. Idiot..

    Heleen, I love you! You look beautiful and are the best mother possible for Liam! He is lucky to have you! :)

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  19. for the Anonymous... your just a wimp for not leaving your name or picture! Ha! Anyone that uses vulger words like that, is only explaing how they are! Ha! And if I see your ass on the street, you aint gonna know what the fuck hit ya! Heleen, Adam and Liam are my family, you fuck with them your gonna fuck with me! So get some balls you vagina and show me your fucking name!!!

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  20. I thought that picture was great! And it looked like something MY husband would do! lol. You just gotta take things people say with a grain of salt and try to let them roll off your back. Like others have said, people are always going to have opinions on how to raise YOUR children. Screw 'em, they're YOUR children for a reason. If they don't like how you're doing it, they don't have to do it the same way.

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  21. THIS REMINDS ME! haha i'm an almost-20-year-old mother to a six month old and a few weeks ago we got our first "random old lady knows best" advice. it completely SHOCKED us and we were speechless wondering if we really were bad parents and thinking that if we were maybe noticeably 30 that never would have been said.

    we were checking out at target and natalie was in her car seat on the cart but she was buckled in. sean was RIGHT by her as i was paying for all the stuff and this lady had the meanest look on her face. all the sudden she said, "don't you worry she's going to fall out of there? shouldn't you buckle her in?" i just felt so threatened like i had to find an excuse for her not being buckled in (i told her the real one which was that we were holding her and playing with her in the store but it didn't feel good enough) she replied saying something along the lines of "you should buckle her in" or something and then we literally just walked away silently because we felt so rotten.

    i just kept thinking.... staying home with my baby all day, feeding her, playing with her, keeping her safe, providing her with all she needs, reading and singing to her just isn't enough... because i'm younger. when it would be just fine had i been older.

    people are crazy but it's not easy to just "forget what they've said" i feel for ya, heleen. your baby knows your the best mommy for him.

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